Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
It takes a spring snowstorm to slow me down enough to find time to write. I’m tucked away on our little urban farm. Outside trees and fences look like they’ve been covered in white icing. A warm fire burns steady in the wood stove and the chickens are tucked into the barn, out of the snowy cold. It’s been way too long since I’ve been able to write about – well anything. Home life has been a little hectic and work hours are overflowing with opportunity. It seems like I jump from meeting to meeting not sure that I have time to do any of the things that are assigned during those meetings. 
I hope you all don’t think I’m complaining. I’m not, but I have missed you. I’ve missed the chance to share with you musings and good stories. I’ve missed your occasional comments and ideas. This little break has reminded me that I’ve been awfully busy doing of late, and not so good at being.
As I write this, I’m eaves dropping on my husband’s phone conversation with a friend as they talk about doing good and being in relationship. My husband works in a prison ministry, once a week, teaching impact of crime on victims. And once a month he and 2 others go in to facilitate a 3 day workshop with the Alternatives to Violence Project. The person he is speaking to, supports a women’s transition home called Lydia’s House. They are reminding me I don’t have to do everything to save the world, but be mindful of friendships and relationships. That in caring for our friends we care for those we cannot serve or advocate for directly. We have another friend who works with women transitioning from prison and another friend who has organized winter outreach and emergency shelters for those experiencing homelessness in our city. Every person we know is doing something great for others.
This really does set me back on my heels. How important do I think I am that I need to go to every meeting? Be on top of every justice topic? Why do I think I have to know it all? I admit I like being the go-to person, the one who knows. Not having a ready answer makes me feel like I’m not doing my job. While it’s important to understand how all of this is connected – honestly, do I really think they can’t do it without me?
I’m often thinking of my next meeting, my next presentation. Did I finish the PowerPoint? Did I make enough copies of the hand out? Oh, I forgot to print off the agenda and minutes from the previous meeting. Our culture tells us to just get it done and even better to be the expert. I’ve noticed I’m so busy doing of late, that I rarely just have time to be present to those around me, to be a friend to those who are doing work, in places that I cannot.
However, if I’m not there in relationship to my friends, supporting them, connecting with them then I dismiss the interdependence of justice work and of life. I’m back to perpetuating the destructive mythology of bootstrap independence that our culture uses to continue such injustices I claim to want to overcome. Now, I don’t see myself as the cowboy activist, single handedly saving the world. But I do recognize that when I don’t slow down, don’t take time to just be, then I cannot really do what God is calling me to. If I haven’t made time for friends, when did I make time for God? And in that busyness I may miss something wonderful that you are doing and that God is doing in us.
I’ve been out of the loop for a while and am making a personal commitment to slow down and be more present. I’m going to try not to be so conformed to this world, but to stop and listen. Sometimes God speaks in the time in between and sometimes God speaks through you. I need to be here to listen. I’d love to hear from you. I’m not going to ask what you have been doing, but I’d love to know how you have been.
Back on the path,
Anna
